Current:Home > reviewsWhat is 'modern monogamy'? Why it's a fit for some couples. -Mastery Money Tools
What is 'modern monogamy'? Why it's a fit for some couples.
View
Date:2025-04-12 14:46:51
So many relationship structures are out there, reflecting diverse needs, desires and expectations. As a society, we have begun to talk about the fact that not everyone wants to be monogamous and that it might not make everyone happy. However, many have yet to notice that even within monogamy, people are broadening its definition (and shifting its timelines).
When someone says "monogamy," we often think of marriage, kids, the works. And yet, just because someone may prefer to be with one person at a time does not mean they want to be with that person forever.
What is modern monogamy?
The term "modern monogamy" is sometimes used to speak to a dynamic where an individual prefers an exclusive partnership with another person but understands relationships as impermanent or seasonal. They have released the notion that one person will be with whom they spend their entire life. Or that this one person will align with who they become in the future or remain compatible with time.
For example, what you want in a partner at 20 may differ from what you want in a partner in your 40s. As you go through life, you may seek different types of support, connection or traits. Sometimes, to remain compatible with someone throughout a lifetime, we stop ourselves from growing and changing.
Read on:'Does sex in every long-term monogamous relationship lack excitement? Or is it just mine?'
Modern monogamy can be understood as writing different chapters with different people. Some people will have a longer word count than others, but there is no expectation that one story will last forever. That's not to say they would oppose this outcome – if it happens, great! It's refusing to commit to something just for the sake of commitment, instead to constantly engage in reevaluating if the relationship is the right fit.
Modern monogamy does not mean:
1. Leaving the instant things get difficult. It's not about finding a new partner just because we don't want to deal with issues that exist with our current one.
2. Always looking for something better. Modern monogamy doesn't mean we have one foot in and one foot out, never fully committing to the relationship or doing the work because we are perpetually looking to start a relationship with someone new.
3. Making our partners feel like they are on probation. It's not about waiting for our partner to mess up, so we have an excuse to leave. It's not about making them feel like they are being assessed and graded.
Modern monogamy can mean:
1. Not forcing a relationship to work. It’s about allowing relationships to come and go. It’s about staying attuned to how the dynamic impacts and aligns with us (or doesn’t). It’s about not forcing, trapping or guilting ourselves into a single relationship.
2. Never going on relationship autopilot. This form of modern monogamy encourages a practice of self-awareness, checking in, and communicating with our partner.
3. Building the best relationship you can for as long as possible. It's loving someone enough to let them go when they are unhappy or loving yourself enough not to sacrifice your whole life for the sake of a relationship.
4. Accepting that even relationships that don’t last forever can be significant. Instead of assuming that the only way for a relationship to have value is if it doesn't end, it’s understanding that temporary things can be just as meaningful.
Is modern monogamy right for you?
With modern monogamy, like any other relationship dynamic, it's important to communicate what you want with your partner and remain open about how you view the relationship.
Modern monogamy is used by many to honor themselves and those they love. It’s an agreement that allows them to experience love, partnership and commitment while also being open and curious about the continuous alignment and not shying away from being willing to adjust, shift or let the relationship go.
More:Why 'orbiting' is killing your relationship – and how to make it stop
veryGood! (57743)
Related
- Biden administration makes final diplomatic push for stability across a turbulent Mideast
- College football 2024 season bowl game and playoff schedule
- Lucy Hale Has a Pitch for a Housewives-Style Reunion With Pretty Little Liars Cast
- Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg honor 80th anniversary of D-Day in Normandy
- The company planning a successor to Concorde makes its first supersonic test
- Is the US job market beginning to weaken? Friday’s employment report may provide hints
- Not 'brainwashed': Miranda Derrick hits back after portrayal in 'Dancing for the Devil'
- Utah NHL team down to six names after first fan survey. Which ones made the cut?
- NHL in ASL returns, delivering American Sign Language analysis for Deaf community at Winter Classic
- FDA rolls back Juul marketing ban, reopening possibility of authorization
Ranking
- Head of the Federal Aviation Administration to resign, allowing Trump to pick his successor
- Heather Rae and Tarek El Moussa Clap Back at Criticism Over Playful Marriage Video
- Kids coming of age with social media offer sage advice for their younger peers
- Former officers who defended the US Capitol on Jan. 6 visited the Pa. House. Some GOP members jeered
- From family road trips to travel woes: Americans are navigating skyrocketing holiday costs
- 2024 NBA Finals: ESPN's Doris Burke makes history in Game 1 of Mavericks vs. Celtics
- Connecticut’s Democratic governor creates working group to develop ranked-choice voting legislation
- Wheel of Fortune's Vanna White Says Goodbye to Pat Sajak in Emotional Message
Recommendation
Average rate on 30
Who is Chennedy Carter? What to know about Chicago Sky guard, from stats to salary
Connecticut’s Democratic governor creates working group to develop ranked-choice voting legislation
Records tumble across Southwest US as temperatures soar well into triple digits
Where will Elmo go? HBO moves away from 'Sesame Street'
$10,000 reward offered for capture of escaped Louisiana inmate
I Swear by These Simple, Space-Saving Amazon Finds for the Kitchen and Bathroom -- and You Will, Too
Car ownership is getting more costly even as vehicle prices dip. Here's why.